Miss Brunette Fucks An Old Plumber

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Miss Brunette Fucks An Old Plumber

******(for the ravers, with love and giggles . . .)******Shit shit shit shit shit!!!No, nothing’s wrong! Christ, why would anythingBe wrong? No, I’m happy! Don’t you see,Happy is being like“Shit shit shit shit!”All the time.You know, I bet if Hello Kitty were a dog and she could talk, she’d go“Shit shit shit shit!!!”All the time, cause she’d be soHappy Like, all the time. Like“Woof woof, shit shit!! Happy happy Hello Kitty Puppy”O-M-G, that wouldBe so cute!!!Shit, I should write that down.I really wish you’d take something. I reallyNeed to talk to someone right now who’sReally really high, BecauseIt’s freaking me out that you’re notListening to me because I can tell becauseYou’re not talking! And-- god, that feels so good right now!Just feel my heartbeat, just--No, I didn’t say grab my tit, I said--Listen, just-- shhhh, just be here with me and justFeel it. Can youJust feel that? Feel that, that’s my heart beating--That’s-- this whole place is my heart beating, thisIs me, this whole space, this universe, it’s inside--No, it’s like the bass is my heart beating--It isMy heart. The glitter thump of the world that pumps inside.No, I’m not having a cardiac episode, I’m--Look, you don’t make any sense when you’re sober,I’m just gonna break it to you. Christ, it’s like Hester Dimmesdale trying to talk sense into Arthur Prynne or something--You know, I’ve really thought about having your babies.I’m just gonna come out and tell you--I really think about that.At least one of them.I mean-- I could share you, even.Like if it were you and me, and then that Portuguese chickFrom Love, Actually, the one with the tramp stampThat-- was it Colin Firth?-- was all after?Like, I could totally share you with her; and thenYou know, we’d share her and stuff?I’m just gonna let you think on thatAnd we’ll talk about it later.Oh, is that what you think? Here, take this, I want you to--No, I’m gonna own it. Write the word“E-tard”On myForehead. No, it’s a fucking eyeliner pencil!Here, just write
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it on my forehead. No it won’t Hurt! God, it’ll feel so good, probably! Don’t you know how to write?Well it doesn’t have to be cursive, I don’t care.Do you know how to text? Do you wanna textIt to my forehead then? No, I know that doesn’tMake sense-- I mean,It does make sense, it makes perfect sense:Just because an idea isn’t WorkableThat doesn’t meanIt isn‘t a Good idea. I don’t think you’ll make it in the corporate world, I Really don’t. Oh shit! Oh my god! Do you think I could trademarkHello Kitty Puppy?!Is that like, infringement libelOr something? O my god that could make millions!!Oh shit, I’ll do it all from home though!Like no corporations, no businesses and shitJust like, puppy money. Free love moneyI’m just gonna live on likeMoney and loveMoney and loveAnd just--I’m gonna spend my life dancing.My whole life just dancing.Que pensez-vous?Do you like it? Does it look hot?Does it really say “E-tard”? You know I’m gonnaAsk somebody. Just not now. No, I’m not gonna look, I’m just gonna wait and find out. Maybe you wrote somethingSlutty instead? We won’t know. I mean you won’t know--I meanI won’t know.Suspense!!!Here, why don’t you write the word ‘slave’ inside my wrist?That’d be hot. That’d make me feel hot, I am Hot.Are you hot?I’m too hot.Is Evian really naïve spelled backwards or am I being paranoid?Maybe I am paranoid. I have to watch out about that.You’re hot. You know,I could raise your babies on my Hello KittyPuppy money. Big strong mute childrenWith their mute dopey daddyAnd dancing momma. Would you like that?Here, write, like, “Future Mother of my Children”Across my, I don’t know, my tits or something.Write it on my belly. Okay, justWrite it on my arm--Fine, I’m gonna mentally write it on meAnd then you’re gonna dance with me.It makes total sense.It’s a plan!Plans, wisdom!Oh God, I love my life!!!Hello Kitty Puppy hello here I come!“Shit shit shit shit shit!!!”--Okay, alrightShhh, okay, justShut the fuck up, have a smile, and just--Dance avec moi!!!

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